Mascot Death-Match: EAST

For Mascot Death-Match Part 1, click here.

If you haven’t been introduced to the nuanced idea of fake creatures beating each other up, check out our last post. If you have, then welcome back! Your votes were surely appreciated by the underdogs Monica Lewinsky and the Salt Lake Lions. FYI: It’s not over! Go vote some more and the results will reveal themselves in due time . . . . but now to this weeks poll.

Speak friend and enter . . .

 

Matchup 1: New Jersey Hammerheads vs. New York PONY

The New Jersey vs New York Rivalry has a new chapter, and thy name is Frisbee. Granted the New Jersey Hammerheads have had a rough start to their franchise history, in that they ceased to exist. But hey, Beau Kitteredge didn’t exist the first three days of Club Nationals, and look how well Revolver did! They will however have a tough match-up against the Twitter giants PONY. Whether their mascot is a Horse or a Lion doesn’t seem to matter at this point, what matters more is how well they can beat the mascot that is basically Bruce Willis from Sixth Sense: Spoilers! He was dead the whole time.

 

Matchup 2: Seattle Riot vs. Charlotte Express

Pro Floppy Tip: This Matchup is the exact plot of the movie Snowpiercer. 5/5 Stars.

Charlotte has shown lackluster results up to this point, but come on this is a women’s team. Ok but really i’m going with the Riot on this one. I’ll take anything from Seattle at this point.

 

 

 

Matchup 3: Tronto Rush vs. Vancouver Riptide

What can you say about this one? Really, what can you say? I’m not sure what a Rush is much less a Riptide. So let’s just do what every ZTA would do and just pick the one with prettier colors.

 

Matchup 4: SF Boost Mobile vs. Atlanta Hustle

Pro Floppy Tip: You can get 2GB a month for just $30. That’s a steal.

Many have known a Cell Phone Salesman to pull their Hustle sales tactics, so who takes the edge in this one? Well for starters, Atlanta is a team and Boost Mobile hasn’t existed since Lebron was a Cav, the first time. Slight advantage there.

 

Matchup 5: Nashville Nightwatch vs Ottowa Outlaws

A classic case of Cowboys vs Indians. If the Indians were Canadian and the Cowboy’s were terrible at Frisbee. So there’s only one question, do you feel lucky punk?

 

Matchup 6: Cincinnati Revolution vs. New York Empire

Word on the street is Mel Gibson is captaining the Cincinnati side with his early 2000’s The Patriot hatchet. Many an Empire has toppled from less. The Empire’s offense has been on fire in the East Division, but Louis IIVX can’t keep this up much longer.

 

Matchup 7: Indianapolis Alleycats vs. San Jose Spiders

Let’s be honest, you smart people see through the charade at this point. The only reason these two are paired is because if they played anyone else they would lose every time. I’ve seen some big spiders, and they’ve seen the bottom of my shoe. I’ve seen some Cats, but they’re not allowed inside my home. Anyways, take your pick. They’re losing in the next round.

 

 

Matchup 8: Rochester Dragons vs. Philadelphia Phoenix

Here we go. This is the big time. It really comes down to Character preference. More than likely people will go with Dumbledore’s Phoenix because it has access to the sword of Gryffindor. Personally I envision the Dragon to be ridden by Rhaegar, which is very exciting considering Danaerys  can’t get off her butt and get to Westeros. Let me get off this one, my nerd is showing.

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So that’s it people. Make it count.

Stay Classy,

FD

Mascot Death-Match: WEST

It’s the opening weekend of the AUDL! For yet another year, we’ll embark on a journey of inevitably lackluster validation from the sports world, while simultaneously seeing how many arguments we can make against our best hope at a bright future, the AUDL. I personally like the pro leagues. Whats wrong with taking the guys that i’ve seen time and time again guzzle down a frisbee full of beer, and paying them something in between the federal minimum wage and whatever Bamasecs makes off their Google adverts? Nothing. Nothings wrong with that.

What is wrong however, is that there isn’t yet an avenue for debate about how weird/awesome some of our mascots are. Until today.

Announcing: THE FIRST ANNUAL ONE TIME ONLY CLICKBAITORAMA BRACKET OF AUDL MASCOTS: TO THE DEATH EDITION.

Here’s the idea. Who would win in a fight, Zapdos A Thunderbird or Beast from X-men A Cascade? (Dumb copyright infringements…) These are backyard, WWE style, death matches. Only one rule: no touching of the hair or face.

Here’s your left side of the 32 team bracket: Meaning you’ve got 8 match-ups to choose from. Let’s do this.

 

Matchup 1: Pittsburg Thunderbirds vs. Minnesota Wind Chill

Let’s be honest here guys, it’s a Zapdos. And what does a Zapdos do? Zapdos flies. Depending on the moveset of a particular trainer, Zapdos might even know the move sky attack. That means it uses wind to its advantage. And even if it didn’t, Minnesota could be playing the Topeka Kansas Garden Gnomes and there would still be a pretty clear cut winner here. Don’t let me down Floppy Nation.

 

Matchup 2: Salt Lake Lions vs San Diego Growlers

Lions and fierce canines have long been enemies, ever since the blockbuster flop film Lion King first aired in 1993. Lion’s have the slight edge here, but just like our pal Mufasa, the Salt Lake Lions are lying dead in a gorge somewhere in the African savannah.

 

Matchup 3: Raleigh Flyers vs. LA Aviators

Let’s look at the facts. The Raleigh men Fly. The LA boys aviate. How very, Los Angeles, of them. Next thing you know they’ll be starring in a black and white film about a Saudi Arabian vampire who overcomes an insurmountable obstacle only to discover he’s happily vegan.

Matchup 4: San Francisco Flamethrowers vs Seattle Cascades

This is a bit of an ethical dilemma. Do we pretend that Seattle has a mascot that’s basically a waterfall, even though they have a giant blue monster in their Logo? I’ll let you decide. And to that point, if the San Francisco mascot really is just a Flamethrower, who’s going to operate it? X-Men’s Beast is a congressman at this point for gods sake. He’s not going to be beaten by a Flamethrower with no operator. Then again, Seattle could just be a small fountain . . .

Matchup 5: DC Scandal vs Madison Radicals

Welcome to the #equality section of this post. This is quite an interesting matchup. Here’s what we’re looking at. Guy Faux is a Radical, Monica Lewinsky is a Scandal. Lewinsky did some serious damage in her hay-day.

Matchup 6: Chicago Wildfire vs DC Breeze

Allow me to prove that I know the average age of my audience by relating this matchup to Nickelodeon’s Avatar: The Last Airbender. The fact is that Fire is better than Air. The only reason Aang ever won anything was because he was the Avatar, the master of all four elements. Then again, unlike the Breeze, Aang lacked veteran experience. Woah there, almost thought we were talking about Ultimate for a second. The reality is that we all lost when M. Night Shyamalan got the rights to make the live action movie.

Matchup 7: Connecticut Constitution vs Montreal Royal

This one’s for America boys. I’m asking, no pleading, for an upset here. Let me set the stage. In 1776 George Washington rode a Bald Eagle bareback into the London headquarters of the bad guy from the Patriot. He swooped down on Geoffrey the Eagle to the cries of Queen Cumberbatch. She cried “Why have you come!?,” to which he replied: “FREEDOM.” And with the last black arrow of the wind lance he pierced the hide of Queen Cumberbatch, and freed the world from all tyranny. Without the Constitution, George Washington is just some guy that ended up on the money. But instead, he is forever known as the rider of Geofrey Queenslayer: The Largest Bald Eagle of the modern age.

Matchup 8: Detroit Mechanix vs Jacksonville Cannons

Ah yes. The Frankenstein’s monster scenario. These cannons were born at the hand of the Mechanix, and yet here they stand. Poised to destroy their creator. The Mechanix only shot at survival is a merger here. Together, they can create an optimus-prime like machine that could be a big sleeper in this years bracket.

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So that’s it my Floppy Folks, now we wait. To be fair, i’m going to wait until at least three people vote on each of these. That way Jeff Snader can’t come in and rig the game for the rest of you fine people. And hey, with enough responses maybe i’ll do an AMA.

Stay Classy,

FD

Post Pre Season Early Year 2015 Mid Season POTY Speculative Watch List

It’s that time of the year again folks! Time to talk about the players we here at floppy disc have our eyes, ears, and noses on. Before we get to the good stuff, you may notice that this list includes both genders. That’s because, for the first time in the history of forever and ever, Floppy Disc will be giving out one POTY award for all of Ultimate. That’s right ladies and gents. A Uni-POTY. The revolution is here.

Let’s get to it.

Catherine Zeta Jones – Oregon

Possibly the most athletic handler in the Men’s division, Ms. Zeta Jones can dip beneath the lasers and beat you with a high release backhand. She’s obviously the early season favorite, considering she’s the only one on this list who’s even close to the magical powers of “dribbling.”

Meathead Rob Lowe – UCF

Boy did this guy have an offseason. A whole summer of looking at pictures of himself and grunting while playing with Florida United has made him a force on the field. His athleticism is unmatched by even studs like Paranoid Rob Lowe and Far Less Attractive Rob Lowe. But who are we kidding. Even far less attractive Rob Lowe still makes Jimmy Mickle look Beavis from “Beavis and Butthead.”

Gandalf the White – Pittsburgh

You got it. Even this member of the “Istari” makes our list. It’s not so much how he left, but it’s how he came back. The “Maiar” chose to bring him back, until his task will be completed. The mighty Balrog of UNC-Wilmington seemingly ended this heros journey, but it has only just begun.

“A Marcus is never late, he arrives precisely when he means to.” – Gandalf The Grey

Hermione Granger in the Goblet of Fire – UNC

Every male between the ages of 18 and 22 remembers the first time he was sexually aroused. Exactly. It was when Hermione Granger walked down the stairs before the Champions ball in her puffy pink dress. That’s how we all feel when we watch this handler from UNC go to work. She’s nimble, quick, and knows how to pronounce all the spells. No doubt the new professor of the dark arts, Mike Denardis, will coach this one into a powerful muggle born.

Katniss Everdeen – UCSB

Readers and readettes, the “girl on fire” is now a burning skirt. “Katny E’s,” as she’s now affectionately referred, rise to fame was due mainly to her participation in the Hunger Games this past October in Frisco, TX. She can dominate the field with deadly accuracy, but where she’ll really win is the unreal amount of competitive energy. She’s got the throws, she’s got the bids, she’s got the looks. Just be sure not to kill her little black friend or you will surely be murdered. Ruthlessly murdered.

The Blue Monstar from Space Jam – UMASS

This guy is just huge. Here’s what probably happened. He found some sort of magical disc that Danny Devito gave him and threw with George Stubbs. He then grew to a massive 11 foot 9 and began to wreck everyone who has played any sport in the history of the world. The only way to beat this guy is to recruit a rag-tag bunch of fictional cartoon characters. Then, and only then, you might have a chance.

Bonus Floppy Tip: Don’t skip on Lola Bunny. She’s got skills.

***

Honorable mention for COTY:

Mark Whalberg from “The Gambler”- Florida

This man really knows the game. You got to play to win, and he’s been playing for a while. To be fair, I didn’t see his latest theatric performance, but if it’s anything like his on-field prowess, then watch out. No, but actually watch out. Go check out some RSD stuff and you’ll believe me.

***

So there’s our list. Feel free to post your nominations in the comments below. However, we’re going to try and be an actual award and not just take a YouTube video as substitute for talent. But still, we like hearing from you.

 

Love always,

FD

6 Ways to Avoid Being the Dumb Freshman on Your College Team

That’s you. Throwing it. Nice throw.

It’s that time of the year again, the time of year where the freshman you once thought could be so pivotal in the spring have failed to make it to practice because their intramural Qudditch team is “getting serious.” And now they’re left with you. Yes, you there. Sitting in your cargo shorts, with your red and nightglow Ultrastars hanging on the wall. You are the future of the program. So listen up idiot. Here’s how to avoid being an idiot all the time.

***

1. Wear Gloves

Anyone who’s anyone wears gloves. Can’t throw a flick yet? How about investing in some Nike Receiver mitts! Just be sure to come to practice and tell your captains how sticky your hands are now, and that those end zone doinks in the fall are a thing of the past.

2. Wear Tennis Shoes instead of Cleats

Everyone wears cleats, and you (the future of the program) are going to need an edge. Ever had someone juke you out in cleats? With Tennis Shoes, you’ll be able to slide on the April grass, making you more agile and Catwoman-like. Remember: look good, play good.

3. Bring Your Wham-O’s

University Club programs are always running short on discs, and they’ll need your help. When your captain announces: “Everybody get a partner and throw,” just grab that Target bargain bin steal out of your beg.

Shopper’s Tip: The Disc with the three players going up for the disc is the best one.

Bonus Shopper’s Tip: The more Glow in the Dark, the better.

4. Bring Hot and Spicy Pickles for Tournament Snacks

Pickles have been a staple of the Ultimate community for quite some time, and nothing refreshes your team’s seniors quite like Kosher Hot ‘n Spicy Dills. And if there’s one thing Ultimate players love, it’s surprises. So go ahead and peel off that label on the jar. Or better yet, mix it in with those bland and boring Vlasic’s the team mom brought!

5. Stand Up to Your Coaches and Captains Drinking

After a long tournament saturday, your captains may want to unwind with a 20 oz margarita at whatever 2.5 star Mexican Restaurant is in MiddleofFarmville, West Hampshire. Win over your superiors, by publicly maiming them for putting the team behind their alcoholism. As you know, beer is yucky. And yucky doesn’t win championships (and this is the year).

Floppy Tip: The more you shame your captains for their fairly standard tournament routines, the more respect you’ll earn.

6. Make a Trick Shot Video

“Throw outside of practice!”

You’ve heard that too much by now, it’s time you show everyone how hard you’re working! Anyone can throw an around backhand, but that scoober you’re going to throw into the Rec Centers basketball hoop could be worth 12, or maybe even 13 youtube hits. This one’s extra important, so let’s break down the steps.

• Step 1: No tripods. The more stable your video is, the more fake it will seem. Find the teammate willing to help out (maybe a captain or coach), and have him film you with his Samsung Galaxy 3.
• Step 2: Edit, edit, edit. No trick shot video is complete without that slo-mo replay of you throwing over that statue on campus. Add some music while you’re at it, preferably Centuries by Fall out Boy or Turn Down for What by DJ Snake.
• Step 3: Tweet it at Brodie Smith! This may be the most important step. The validation you can get from the sponsor of the new Hyundai Alantra is bound to get you that desired starting time.
• Step 4: Reap the rewards! While your teammates have been running and throwing, you’ve been learning an actual real-life skill. Self-promotion.

***

So there’s your tips Mr. Cargo Shorts. You got this. It’s all on you now. Go out there and earn it!

Sincerely,

FD

In honor of Thanksgiving, my favorite secular holiday, here are some things we as Ultimate players should be thankful for.

Thanksgiving is a time for stuffing our faces full of some absolutely incredible food, with the occasional pause to celebrate things you’re thankful for. I’m going to take a moment to express my appreciation for these things on Thanksgiving Eve Eve Eve, in order to leave myself as much eating time as possible.

The International Olympic Committee

Recently, the IOC proposed a few reforms that would help Ultimate along in becoming an Olympic sport. As it so happens, I was able to attend these meetings.

“These reforms are not only helpful, but they are necessary for the growth of Ultimate in the future. With our help, we can prove to the world that Ultimate players are faster, stronger, and more attractive than all other members of our already existing Olympic Sports.” – Count Jacques Rogge of Belgium

With an attitude like this, it is almost a guarantee that Ultimate will be played in the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, England.

Ultiworld and Skyd 

Let’s get one thing straight, without these two we would have to be using USA Ultimate as our sole source of information. So let’s be thankful that we can avoid that. I encourage all eight of you reading this to contribute to the Skyd fund, because a competitive energy in the ever growing market of Ultimate media is only going to make us all better. In the same way that Brock Osweiler and Peyton Manning duke it out every year for the starting job.

The Beau Kittredge Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon

I’m just making the very safe assumption that this is the year Macy’s gives in and finally gives us our Big Beau Balloon. Look for him just in front of Santa Clause. However, now that I think about it, he’s not real good at showing up on Thursdays.

Five Ultimate

This year, Five Ultimate is making it easier for my grandparents to be ashamed of the sport I play. Tis’ the season for the snarky half-racist remarks about collegiate athletics from Grandpa. And we’ll join that season in style, with a pair of Five Ultimate compression shorts on our heads. Look good, feel good, play good, eat good. Five Ultimate.

Brodie Smith’s Ability to Continue to Exist

Brodie has won another Club National Title, leaving the only thing left to achieve blah blah blah youtube here blah blah something about twitter blah blah pro league stuff. #darkhorse

Foam Rollers

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – Every Ultimate Player on the Subject of their Foam Roller

Innova Pulsar

The MLU’s recent contract with Innova extended their deal for another three years. Ensuring for at least another half decade their relentless indifference towards success. And to quote the great Mr. Gump, “Thats all I have to say about that.”

The New Rookies

These darn kids are doing a wonderful job reminding us that the better generation of Ultimate is coming. They remind us that while we grow into the ESPN scene, the youth of our sport continues to outdo itself in all corners of the world. Always remember: If you’re over 30, you might not have made your college team in the 2010’s. And if you’re under 20, keep kicking our butts.

Mike Gerics Taking His Talents to Reddit

This year Mr. Gerics so graciously joined us fine folks at Reddit, and changed things forever. Never will we forget the dramatic re-telling of his daughter Nina’s first soccer goal. A story that can only be topped by the incredible wordsmith u/thefucksgoingon with his comment: “Well thanks for keeping us informed I guess.” Lord knows what he’ll come up with next, but I can only assume that Mr. Gerics will be on the 2015 USA Ultimate hall of fame ticket. That is, if the new board of directors have been chosen by then.

The Probably Non-Existent MLU Hacker

Very recently, MLU claimed to have a Hacker break into their online store and make surprisingly appropriate jokes at the expense of an upstanding organization. Conveniently, DiscStore.com had been working tirelessly over the past month to prepare themselves for this very situation. Interesting PR stunt? Or actual hacker? I’ll let you make the very obvious decision.

USA Ultimate’s Strange Club Decisions

Earlier this month, USA Ultimate announced that they will be adding a club team in Colorado named the Boulder Banana Kush. To accompany the Kush’s, they’ve also added the Denver Danky Doodles. Rumors tell the FD organization that Stanley Peterson will be donating an appendage to all four Colorado teams (immediately making them all National’s contenders). On top of all this, USA Ultimate managed to misspell their own name on their twitter profile. They’ll have a hard time recovering from such a blow.

Rhino Beating Sockeye

Hey guys with writing talent and more than eight page views, somebody needs to talk about this. God I wish the Chasing Sarasota crew had covered Portland this year, because the story of the little brother enacting their revenge on their neighbors to the north is just too good. Easily the best moment of our sport in 2014.

***

Always remember, be thankful for what you have.

Stay Classy,

FD

There’s a Place for the Mixed Division, but it’s not where you think it is.

Hows that for click bait? Pretty good right? Hey i’ll take what I can get, and it obviously worked at least a little to get you here. So we’re rollin’ now. 

Moving away from home is hard, lets make it a bit easier.

Hold on to your brownies folks.

Don’t worry, this won’t be a high horsed diatribe about how the attitude of the mixed division is summed up by the actions of a few idiots. But yes, they are idiots. Their stupidity really just gives me an excuse to talk about the place of the mixed division in our game.

However, if you do in fact want the opinion of a stranger on the internet, here you go. Their attitude was warranted. Seattle Mixed (RIP Ghetto Birds) had just defied all odds and wanted to celebrate the moment. The problem is they turned what should have been a simple celebration into full blown Buffalo Soldier in the presence of a crowd of middle schoolers. The feeling was warranted, the actions were just plain dumb.

Now, moving on.

The New World

So you’re moving into college. Packing will be tight, and you don’t want to bring anything that will make you look more young than you already will in your prison cell of a dorm. Laptop? That’s gotta come with you. That priceless thing you carry will make you some money after you graduate, and you’ll be grateful you figured out how to work it during the transition. A desk? Well, if you’re a guy you might just want to have everything laying out in piles. But this is about looking good to people you’re going to invite over. It’s about looking like your organized and sane enough to be worth taking out to the most expensive of free dining halls. Now, about that N64. You have to bring it right? It’s part of the break you get from the real world. After a long day of systematic breakdowns in the form of MLA citations you really will need to make some funny noises on the Ocarina of Time. So of course, that comes along for the ride.

Now that you’re packed for college, let’s get back to some Ultimate. Right now we sit in what hopefully is a transition period. A transition between score reporter and ESPN highlights. This transition will be strenuous, trying, and tough. Let’s call the transition, “College.”

Theres a point in going to College, and as much as you don’t want to believe it, it’s to get a good job. The “job” in the sense of Ultimate’s transformation has to do with our legitimacy on an international level as one of the worlds best sports. Just like in real life, getting that job is hard. So we better work our butts off.

The Laptop we bring with us is the Men’s division. We need that to be successful. It has the finest athletes we have to offer and offers the best showcase of our talents as a community. The desk we bring with us is the Women’s division. Some people may think you could “get by” without it, but in reality you need it. Because if somebody in the working world see’s you without a desk they’re going to ask some questions. We need it. It completes the room.

You guessed it, the N64 is the Mixed Division. Boy do we love playing it, and we sometimes feel like we need it. But very rarely will the employers let you bring it to work. As much as we’ll fight it, it’s just not for the big boys. So we’ll have to get rid of it in the transition.

Are you kidding me!? How are you eight readers not outraged!? It’s an N64! We’re not throwing that away! It’s super fun, we’re really good at it, and it relaxes us. We need that, because going to work and having to worry about finances, business models, and professionalism can sometimes be a drag and we’ll need some us time.

But that doesn’t change the fact that we can’t bring it to work with us. It’ll just sit at home in the basement waiting for the rare friday night when your college buddies come over for your bi-annual Super Smash Bros. tournament. The “basements” in this case are the summer leagues, the pick-up tournaments, and even the club level as it sat in 2011.

N64, it’s not that we don’t love you. Believe me, we would love to take you to work with us and accomplish such great and amazing things with you by our side. But it’s just the attitude that comes with you. When the game is played as a social activity for the majority of those who play it, we can’t play it at work.

The Olympics aren’t going to help.

There was only one team at Mixed Nationals that had a starting seven line that could have made all the women’s or men’s team that were also in Frisco, TX. And that team won the whole thing.

If the Olympics decide to take on Mixed Ultimate instead of Men’s or Women’s, it will completely revive the entire division in that the worlds best players will switch to a Mixed team for a whole three measly weeks every four years. Don’t believe me? Look at how crazy teams’ rosters get during worlds years. Can you imagine what will happen when those teams mean something? Woah nelly. So long Boston Wild Card you just got taken over by Boston Ironside and Boston Brute Squad.

Apologies

There are none. Sorry, Mixed.

For the record I play Mixed quite a lot. But in the way it was meant to be played, as a compromise between having both a Men’s and a Women’s division in summer league.

Stay Classy,

FD

Capitalism Takes All Victims, With No Exceptions: A Response to Skyd Fund 2015

It’s a simple principle that every student learns in AP Economics, Econ 110, or even their basket weaving electives. If a market can support something, it will exist. If it can’t, so sorry, not our fault.

Econ 110

Capitalism is in its simplest form, a self regulating system. So when Elliot Trotter makes the claim “maybe the skyd readers would be willing to pay for it through a donation to keep us afloat” (paraphrasing) in his new piece A World Without Skyd, he’s giving basic economics the old college try. Because why don’t people want to pay for something they use and enjoy? Simple. They already get it for free.

Yes Ultiworld.com, i’m looking at you. The little brother that wanted to give big bro a run at backyard ball, and finally won (If you don’t think won is the right word, we’ll make you feel a little better).

Both these websites exist in the same Ultimate community, with the same cultural ideas, and the same thinning wallets. Neither exist in an environment that supports a full-time reporter of Ultimate Frisbee. The reason Ultiworld will survive and Skyd will not, is not a difference of content, morality, and financial sense. But the main reason is that Ultiworld is willing to grit it out until it works. Granted there are some strategical differences (we’ll get there), but the put the ultimate career on the backburner to contribute solid reporting attitude at Ultiworld may last just a bit longer.

So theres your daily lesson in common sense. People collectively are willing to pay something what they are worth. So no more complaining about Lebron James’ 42.1 million dollar contract or President Obama’s 400,000 dollar salary. News flash from a place where you really shouldn’t be getting news flashed from: That’s what they’re worth. To us as consumers.

So if Skyd deserves to exist they will. Advertisers don’t come to Skyd because there aren’t enough hits on the site, and if there aren’t enough hits on the site, do they deserve the kind of money that comes along with high profile advertisements? Thats for the people with the marketing degrees to judgeOH WAIT THEY DID. And Skyd sadly, just wasn’t worth it.

The Quantity, Quality Debate

Skyd recently turned towards a “name” heavy site, while almost simultaneously Ultiworld pushed more and more content like coverage and game analysis. So which one worked? Well let’s look at our present situation. Skyd requires an indiegogo campaign of 32,000 in order to function in 2015. Ultiworld requires an undisclosed amount, but we’ll say for now it’s something similar. Ultiworld reaches this goal by selling video, low level Ultimate brand advertisements, and selling sponsored stories. And while it can’t be called “making money,” they sure do save some money on columnists that don’t appear to be demanding much for the medium quality content they shove out the window.

Skyd needs a donation to exist. And of course, I encourage all eight of you reading this to donate because they make Ultimate more fun. But I can’t in good faith ask you to donate something you feel is above the risk of knowing what you’ll get back. Skyd has obviously stepped away from coverage and is moving towards high quality pieces written by high quality people. And not to throw out a major speculation but to throw it out anyway, you have to think that those columnists i’m referring to (Beau and others) demand some more pennies. And only time will tell if that makes any cents. *BA dum tis

Econ 111

This class is easy, trust me. ESPN and others can afford to take the risk of covering us plebes. Because eventually, it may pay off. Skyd, Ultiworld, and Blockbuster Video, can’t. They need money.

Got it? Great! You get a B+. Not an A because if I gave the eight of you A’s it might seem like I was going easy on you. But hey, as a college Ultimate player rocking a steady 3.01 in an enginerding degree don’t complain. Just go practice your throws.

Theory Time

Theory 1: Ultiworld will succeed because they’re not good enough players.

This is not meant to offend any of the writers for the little brothers, but it’s mainly an observation. Elliot Trotter and Ian Toner are well recognized Ultimate players in their own right, and long term have large aspirations for their playing careers that could at some point be slight less than mildly realistic. No telling how good Charlie Eisenhood and Keith Raynor could have been (ok some telling), but it doesn’t matter. They’re willing to not try in order to report.

Theory 2: Skyd raises the money.

Jimmy Valvano would have a hard time giving an inspirational enough speech to raise 32 grand for a frisbee website, but if his 1983 team showed us anything, it’s that anything is possible if you want badly enough to write such an enticing real life March Madness story that not even Steven Spielberg could correctly cinemate (new word alert).  It could happen. But heres the part deux. What happens this time next year? Ponder.

Theory 3: No one will ever read this.

This one is probably the most likely of the three. In the very likely scenario that no ones reading this except for that girl that I saw at Starbucks once, hi Kara. I know your names Kara because of the name on the pumpkin spice latte (#basic) that you bought . . . even though it was spelled Karay (what the hell did that woman at the counter hear?). I’m not great at talking to girls, so if you could find me on craigslist lost connections that would be just super.

Hope to stare at you from across the 8 by 10 foot room again soon.

Creepily,

FD

Epilogue

Go donate to Skyd. Because if your’e weird enough to be reading this, you obviously read a little bit of their stuff.

And go support Ultiworld with a video package.

As professor FD taught today, I don’t get to decide whether these great sites fail or succeed (mainly because I have no money [mom please help {dad too}]), but we as a consumers do.

Stay Classy,

FD